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The eldest has Down syndrome, and we do a lot to support her, so though we had toyed with the idea of having a third child, we didn’t think we had the time or energy. We didn’t know how we were going to handle another child, but when she finally arrived, we realized that she was the missing piece to our family puzzle.

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Instead of convincing him to get married, I had only convinced him that I cared more about marriage than about him. It took a long time to arrive at a happy conclusion.And by doing so, I made him into an object of judgment and comparison. But here are some things that I learned through my experience and through many friends who have shared this struggle.

Recall Walter Mischel's marshmallow study which showed the value of the ability to delay gratification.* Mischel offered a group of four year-old children one large, puffy marshmallow but told them all that if they would wait for him to run an errand, they could have not one, but two, lovely marshmallows.This isn’t a blog post telling you that the way I married my significant other is superior to the way you did. Our story is not what most would consider normal in today’s day and age. Each guy I have dated has been very different from the last. It’s just that…some stories are more culturally accepted as normal.I get asked a lot of relationship-themed questions given where I work, and one of them is from women with boyfriends who want to know how long to wait for the ring.These aren’t women who have been dating for two months, but rather women who are in long-term relationships.Are these guys patient or just stringing them along? As it turns out, there isn’t a lot of recent research on the courtship length prior to marriage.